I have been in transition. Since I received my MFA, I embarked on my career change into the academic world. I became an adjunct instructor at a local community college, not making enough to make ends meet even with the spotty freelance work I get from time to time, mind you.
I have been in the crux of subsistence living and putting up with folks who think less of me because of it. Because of it, my creative life is nonexistent. Because of it, I have withdrawn further within myself. Because of it, I have no romantic life to speak of.
We are approaching the new year and I am anxiously waiting for the tides to turn but trying yet to hold off my desperation. I have to let go of old and tired things in my life and break old habits. I even plan to change my daily driving route.
I read a little today about the history of post-modern poetics. How it interests me so. If I had money, I probably would take another major in literary theory. Imagine a poet championing for literary theory? Oh...well...it's my alter ego, didn't you know? But there are far too academic types with bigger degrees for that one.
If I had won that $500 million-something Powerball, I would have bought my way into an Ivy League college and get as many degrees as I want. I want to major in the most novel and the most obscure subjects. I would work on math (my weakest of all subjects) to become a physicist.
I refuse to be stuck in adjunct hell with all its negative trappings. Therefore, I say "I will" rather than "I wish" for a full-time academic position to come through. Somewhere in between I will also try to squeeze my writing and painting in there.
I might even go out dancing or sing karaoke again.